"I Don't Know"

---I love Lisa Hannigan---

Today is my last official day as a child. I'm surprised I've made it here. So are you excited to be turning 18? Why would I be? Nothing changes. What can I do? Buy cigarettes? Yeah, perfect, just another bad habit to fall into, to destroy my body with. Buy lotto tickets? I'm an unlucky girl. Get porn? ...hmm, that might be a plus side... just kidding... But now you have more control over your life and what you get to do. No more asking permission for parties and such. Is you serious? Something must be wrong with you, because that's not how it works in the real world. Okay, that's a lie. Alot of my friend's parents are like that. You turn 18, you're an adult, you do what you want. Not for me. NOTHING CHANGES.

Tease. Whore. Slut. Hobag.

Talked to an old friend. Used to think he was a freak. But even though he's unrealistic and too hopeful for my regular taste, talking to him felt wonderful. Hope he doesn't turn into a M----. That would be bad.

My therapist is retarded. Wait, tht's pretty politically incorrect. She's stupid. That's better, right?

I'm so happy my sister is here. I want to make her trip great. But I can't.

I hate the yelling, the arguing, my anger.

I like scary movies.

I'm not doing homework.

I want someone to talk to.

I'm glad I have you. You know who you are.

Love is overrated.

I want to love and feel it.

I want to hurt, but not just on my skin.

I miss seeing my blood.

I miss you.

Goodnight.