"Nineteen Stars"

---I love Meg & Dia---

Everything hurts today.

I feel like swearing alot today. I hope tht doesn't bother you. Ha, of course, now that I've said it, I probably won't swear at all.

Well, firstly I thought I'd state, that I want to be somebody else.

iwannabesomebodyelseiwannabesomebodyelseiwannabesomebodyelseIWANTTOBESOMEBODYELSE!

Anyone willing to trade just for a few days? Please. Please.

...she was so much more than me, but i can be her now, i can be her now...

So, it made me feel nothing for a while. Nothing at all. The worst feeling in the world. Nothing at all. Nothing. NOTHING. And now, there is nothing. Nothing at all. Nothing for a night. Nothing for a weekend. Nothing for a whole fucking week. Nothing at all. Nothing. And it hurts. Why does it fucking hurt? It was nothing. I felt nothing. But now I am nothing. And so are you. Disappear. Run away. I like it better that way. You fucking liar. Wait, no, that's me. NOTHING.

Now I feel as though I spelt nothing wrong, because it looks so foreign to my eyes. But familiar to everything else. Fucking idiot. Why, yes, yes I am.

NOTHING.

You're life is just a book, Turtle, and it's up to you to write your destiny. Well, if that's true, I've written myself into many stories, but they never end up the way I want them too. What should I do to fix that? Well, I'll tell you what, there's nothing I can fucking do. Ooh, there's that word again. NOTHING.

No matter how far down the wrong road you've travelled, you can always turn back. Fuck you. =) That's not true. It's really not. They should not be allowed to say statements like that in institutions of knowledge, because that just leads us more astray.

It's hopeless now, darling, it's hopeless. But I still love you.

So hold me, please. Hold me until you suffocate me. Hold me until everything is gone, and black and not so cold. Hold me until I'm free. Hold me until I'm nothing. Until I'm nothing, because I'm everything.

Shh! Can't you keep a secret?

...all I want, all I want is right here but love don't live here anymore...

On the plus side, maybe GradNite and Prom will be good. =)

The downside is, despite how badly I try to resist it, I can't help but be uber-hopeful about those two nights, and we both know how this will end. In utter disappointment.

Ball of id. Give her attention?
Saying thank you, makes her a whore. =)

Oh god, baby, give it to me right now. I fucking NEED it. Just fuck me, baby. Just do me.

.Turtle.