"Underdog"

---I love the Jonas Brothers---

You say it, but then you don't mean it
You say you wanna have it and feel it and hold it
But all I can offer is a cheap imitation.
Open up to close all the doors.
Why go searching for something you don't know you don't have?
In a house of mirrors that I've built just for you
Don't you feel lonely, baby, or just a happy fool?
Never satisfied, never satiated, I want to bite through your skin.

I hurt today. So, I guess I haven't been sharing my feelings like I used to. I used to post these long poetic, meaningful posts, that made me feel like I'd just shared the whole world, now I have little one liners, that confuse even me. But everything confuses me. I hurt today.

Will things ever get better? I feel so immature, so stupid, so worthless, like a complaining spoiled brat when I think things like that. I have nothing to complain about. My life is good. I have what ppl beg for. I have a family, friends, a house, oppurtunities in front of me. Why can't I take advantage of them? Or better yet, why do I keep taking advantage of them in the worst ways? I hurt so bad, but what's the point in saying it, since I can't say why.

Tear me apart, break me down, make me hurt, please. Please. They say I can't do it to myself anymore.

I bought a scar fader the other day. I guess it'd be bad if I added new scars today. It would make it a waste of money, wouldn't it?

I hate myself sometimes.

And, I hurt today.

P.S. If you promise not to tell anyone, I can tell you a secret. Sometimes I wish he were real.